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One week ago: me in front of Alcatraz in San Francisco. It was a beautiful place and I miss it already πŸ’•πŸ˜’
(Added bonus, somehow I kinda look tall in this picture! And daaaang I didn’t even contour my face that day and my cheekbone game is strong)

Today was an amazing day πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’– @vulgarspaceprince and I finally got to hang. white hair and monochrome twins ftw! πŸ˜‰

The view from my my aunts window!!! It looks right out onto the bay and it is absolutely gorgeous. The second into is a zoomed in view of Alcatraz from this window!

It’s cool and breezy and foggy so far this morning and it’s absolutely beautiful,

Pre-flight anxiety.

Yes, I will be the grown adult who’s wearing all black, combat boots, a leather jacket, and tons of eyeliner carrying their teddy bear through the airport.

Morning pumpkin spice coffee in a Jack the Pumpkin King mug.Β 

I’m up early and you know….I’m not dreading going to work. I think I needed these past 2 days to be shoved into my position on my own. I very clearly made a mental choice on Monday; I was about to send a worrying text message to my coworker that I’m taking over for asking if what I was saying in a particular email was okay.
I looked at my phone and had a distinct moment of “You know……fuck it. How am I going to know if I don’t DO it?”Β 
Ever since then I’ve had the attitude of “It’ll all get done, it’ll all be okay, and it’s okay if I make mistakes along the way because I’m /learning/ and THAT’S OKAY TOO!”
Previously I felt like I immediately had to be as good as my coworker because I don’t want to let anyone down. I still don’t, but I’m not terrified anymore.Β 

And yesterday I sat down and worked through a problem with my team leader and she was so lovely and so helpful, and then another team that we work with were all amazing and had my back when no one else was in the building and I had to get an emergency done. Overall, despite my fears, everyone has been very welcoming and very supportive and they’ve all let me know “No, we’re here if you have questions, you can ask us anything”.
At first it didn’t feel like a safety net, but it’s starting to.Β 
And considering I was scared and stressed to the point of crying at work last week, that’s pretty damn cool.

And this has been your (oddly becoming regular….) Wednesday check in!

This morning’s chapter of the unattractive picture chronicles:

It’s too early for this shit.Β 
And I’m wearing like 3 hoodies. Because I’m freezing and then I may have chugged a cold ginger ale because I was so freaking thirsty when I woke up.

I have approximately 1 hour to arm myself for today’s battle at work.

For all the confidence I had yesterday, this is about how much I have today.

I’m stressed out and overwhelmed and I don’t want to disappoint anybody. I’m afraid and I feel pulled in 20 different directions.



Good morning Monday. I’m ready for battle with my @noctex and @bloodmilk armour. Bring it Monday. #selfie #whitehair #longhair #claws #opi #everymonthisoktoberfest #creepy #ghostgirl #noctex #bloodmilk #workflow

monday is not ready for you

This is the sweetest compliment ever ;_____;
Monday was NOT ready for me.

Except when I cried at my desk. But I only cried a little bit, and my eyeliner didn’t budge, so I still win.

And what do stars do best?

Shine. βœ¨πŸŒŸπŸ’«

#selfie #whitehair #longhair #helmutlang #starlight #ghostgirl

Today is the day.Β 
The first time washing my hair since parts of it were dyed blue.

I’ve been putting this off because not only is it good to wait as long as you can after a stressful chemical process, but my hair is reeeeeeally white. And the blue is verrrrryyyyyyy blue…..

So either nothing will happen, or I may come out of the shower later with most of my hair a pastel blue color….

It’s a good thing my work doesn’t care about my blue hair!! In fact it was a topic of delightful conversation at my team meeting, where I am by far the youngest attendee.Β 
(it was actually very nice because usually when I’m in those meetings I’m sitting there in my grown up conference room chair, nodding and taking notes, all the while having a tiny melt down in my head to the tune of “Oh my god what am I doing here they must all think I’m stupid or that I don’t deserve to be in here but they chose me for a reason but ohhhhhh my god I don’t belong here”)

Ghost Girl. Poet. Artist. Capricorn-Aquarius cusp. Opal eyes. Starlight hair. Bunnies. Yogi. Tarot. Spiritual Gangster. Desert Dreams. Vata. Cosmic explorer. Astrology. Shiny Soul Sparkling. Starquake.

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